“Donald Trump is here tonight. Now, I know that he’s taken some flak lately, but no one is prouder to put this birth certificate to rest than The Donald. Now he can get to focusing on the issues that matter. Like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened at Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?”
“Donald Trump owns the Miss USA pageant, which is great for Republicans because it will streamline their search for a Vice President.”