Posts tagged ‘maury povich’

April 3, 2011

Strange bedfellows

Did you know that having affairs and unprotected sex is patriotic?

It is if you are potential Republican presidential canditates Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum.

When asked to reflect on how the fact that he had cheated on both his first and second wives might affect his chances with conservative voters if he chose to run for president in 2012,  the now thrice married Gingrich responded:

“There is no question that at times in my life partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard, and that things happened in my life that were not appropriate.”

Gingrich was working hard having one of those affairs while he was spearheading fellow patriot Bill Clinton’s impeachment. This would mean that at the time Monica Lewinsky was running around her condo screaming “Out, out damn spot,” Newt was running around on his wife by hitting his girlfriend’s G spot.

This brings us to Mr. Santorum, who this week blamed “abortion culture” for the problems with funding Social Security. You never thought of that? Well, Rick, whose first name is often misspelled because the P is silent, did.

And so did Randall K. O’Bannon, director of education and research for the National Right to Life, who supported Santorum’s connection between abortions and Social Security payments. The Los Angeles Times reports:

“The loss of 53 million innocent lives is tragedy enough,” O’Bannon said, referring to the number of abortions since 1973. “But in allowing this to happen, we have also brought serious social and economic consequences on ourselves, not only depriving ourselves of the energy, the industry, and the ideas of those we have aborted, but also eliminating a significant portion of the tax base that funds government programs like Social Security and Medicare. You can’t lose 53 million lives and not expect it to have a serious economic impact.”

Not to mention how much tax revenue has been lost because Maury Povich could have been charging much higher ad rates to personal injury attorneys and trade schools. No wonder the Bible forbids a man from spilling his own seed. No wonder the Pope disapproves of birth control. No wonder Kim Kardashian is trying to get nailed by more guys than drywall. It’s about the economy stupid.

Well, Mr. Reagan, you almost had it right.

It’s moaning in America.

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