If lovin’ you is wrong

If you’re disappointed with Levi Johnson, who recently proved in Playgirl that he’s got as much  to offer between his legs as between his ears, then maybe you should shift your attention from Ricky Holly/NoWood to somebody who deserves it: Billy Currington.

He’s the country singer/songwriter whose current single “(God is great, beer is good and) People are Crazy is about as pithy as it gets.

Pithy, not pissy. Pissy would be Adam Lambert, who is blaming everything from Out magazine to  homophobia for the mismanagement of his career. It takes some balls going between and betwix there –all rogue/ all victim/all the time–and puts him on the fast track to  be the Sarah Palin of the gay/music world.

Apart from his instantly hummable songs which would sound right at home on a George Strait CD, what distinguishes Mr Currington  is his membership in the growing crop of  hunky country crooners who flaunt their big guns and gym toned bods and who, with studied nonchalance, look like they stepped out of the pages of Details magazine.

Call them countrymetrosexuals. Yes, I just made that term up, truthiness be told, and, no, it’s not an oxymoron. Tim McGraw and  Keith Urban are the most conspicuous of the breed. Red state or blue state, redneck or blue blood, it turns out the girls go crazy for a sharp un/dressed man.

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Mr. Currington must be doing something right because he’s become a fixture on the list of men who use their bodies as much as they use their voices to build a music career  and, as a result, also a fixture at the top of the charts. His video for the song “Must be doin’ somethin’ right” shows him completely comfortable with using his  “On the Waterfront” sexuality, pushing the envelope about as far as any mainstream  white male singer has since Chris Isaak‘s “Wicked Game” video.

And push he does. Unlike in “Wicked Game”, where the camera mostly devours and fetishizes Helena Christiansen as she shows off her body for (the male gaze and) Mr Isaak, in ” Must be doin’ something right,” the camera devours Mr Currington’s buff bod which is being shown off for the female gaze.

When you watch this video  you will be struck by how rare this display of male sexuality is in music videos while the female equivalent is almost obligatory for most female superstars, no matter their race, genre or, in Mariah‘s case, age. (Susan Boyle, beware.)

After his preposterous over the top gay underground visual extravaganzaon the American Music Awards was roundly criticized, Mr Lambert fired back that there was a double standard being applied to him because he was gay , pointing to  Madonna and Brittney Spears as examples of performers who have used overtly sexual imagery in their performances, including a same sex kiss for instance, without having to face the wrath of the censors.

He’s only partly right. Yes, conspicuous (and caricatured) displays of gay male sexuality  on network television (but not cable) make America uncomfortable in  2009. So do “wardrobe malfunctions.” Just ask Janet Jackson. But he’s fundamentally  doing somethin’ wrong when he refuses to factor in that America is just now becoming comfortable with routinely fetishizing the male anatomy for the consumption of the female viewer, with (who would have guessed) countrymetrosexuals leading the way.

(See also the ads for Emporio Armani underwear featuring David Beckham.)

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It’s going to take some time before America embraces Mr. Lambert kissing male keyboardists let alone orally sodomizing dancers onstage. In the meantime, Adam, if you want to entertain us, start by keeping it in your pants and  record a few good songs and an album that doesn’t get panned by critics.

It worked for  Tim and Keith and Billy.

TheBestDressedList.com

TomKolovos.com

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One Comment to “If lovin’ you is wrong”

  1. “All rogue/all victim (all the time) = Sarah Palin…

    HA!

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